Review: The Peacegiver

"The Peacegiver" by James L Ferrell

The couple in this book seemed just like Ryan and I. They'd been married 12 years, got married in the Los Angeles Temple a year after the man returned from his mission, etc. Then, I read on and hated how their marriage was. It wasn't really like ours at all. They had been fighting for years and spent lots of time not speaking to each other. They were both about ready to separate. All I can say is, marriage is not meant to be like the broken relationship described in this book. Marriage is meant to be a happy, rewarding union between man and woman. The book showed how it could be too. What I liked was the idea that whose fault their marital problems were, didn't matter. The Savior had already accepted their sins and the fallout from those sins upon himself. So, it was each individual's job to forgive, regardless of whether the other one forgave. In this way, the book was very uplifting.

The book mentioned how marital sins were addictive like alcoholic or drug sins. The marital sins like "not speaking to each other", "thinking oneself superior to the other", "hateful words" and such changes a person to feel like they are justified in doing these sins and makes them commit more and worse sins of that nature as if the sin itself were addictive. It's only through the Savior's atonement that we can get out of vicious cycles of destructive behavior that destroy our marriages. At times during the read, I found myself thinking, thankfully I wasn't stuck with a husband like that. But, a marriage relationship is like a living thing. It needs attention, love, time, patience, nurturing, etc, to grow well. Our marriage could have gone that way had we let it. I have a daily choice in my relationship how to treat my spouse. I don't have the choice how he treats me, but I can do a lot to shape how he wants to treat me. I certainly am in complete control of how I treat him. The book showed how we each have our own responsibility to make our marriage the best it possibly can be. The Savior will help us with that. If we rely on Him, I believe we can have what marriage is meant to be: a happy, rewarding union between man and woman.