New News

My friends Ashley and Craig share one of their tips for staying happily married in Ashley's words:

"The first couple months of our marriage my husband would ask me if he was still "new news". I realized this was important to him to feel special and loved and I began to make more of an effort to treat him like I did when we were newly engaged. I did this by greeting him when he got home with a hug, kiss, and big smile! By listening attentively to his interests (even when they are technology related and way over my head). Also, I treat him like new news by still kissing him a lot. Craig treats me like new news by bringing me home a treat he got at the store or at work, contacting me during the day to see how I am doing, and letting me plan our weekends. Treating each other like new news has helped us to stay in love and honestly we fall more and more in love all the time."

One Dozen Years Married Together

Today we happily celebrate 12 years married together. We never regretted our decision to get married together. By getting married together in the Latter-day Saint temple, we invited God to help us in our marriage. I recently taught this concept in simple terms to children. I asked them, "who knows you better than you know yourself?" The answer, "God". Then I asked, "Who will know your future spouse better than anybody else?". The answer was again, "God". Then, I asked, "So, if you fall in love with somebody and want to get married and stay married, then,  wouldn't it make sense to invite God to help you in your marriage?". They understood this idea. Then, I mentioned that anybody can ask for help in their relationships with anybody and especially in their marriage. However, if you are married in the temple, then, God promises to help at all times. So, if you love somebody enough to live together, or enough to get married, then why not do it the way God intended, so He can best help you stay married happily. Also, this is the way to be married forever, even after death.

I can think of a time in our marriage, when I wasn't happy with Ryan. I prayed to figure out what to do. I had the prompting from the words of a song sung at church, "In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrow that the eye can't see". Then, I realized he must be hurting for some reason, so I approached him much more kindly than I would have. I couldn't have really known about his hurt, without God's help, because Ryan probably was only vaguely aware of it himself. So, I'm grateful to an all-knowing God for teaching me that lesson.