Wartime Wedding

My grandparents Max and Marjorie got engaged and married while Max was on leave from the military. They definitely had known each other awhile, dated, met each others' families, etc. Then, the story goes that Max came home and proposed to Marjorie. They tried to figure out all the details quickly before Max had to leave. They weren't sure where to get married, but they decided on the SLC temple. As my grandmother puts it, "temple marriages weren't stressed as so important back then." As they thought about it, they were content with getting married at the temple. So, they got married and had something short like 24 or 36 hours together before Max was deployed again for military service in WWII. They had a happily ever after that lasted for decades while they were both alive. Since, they got married in the temple, it can last for an eternity more.

There's was certainly a military, wartime wedding done very well.

None of us marry perfection, we marry potential II

Meeting the Challenges of Today's Worldby Elder Robert D. Hales

"None of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it’s also about what she—who’s going to be my companion—wants and needs me to be."

This is love, the real kind of love. Make your partner's needs become your own needs. In the ideal marriage this goes both ways. It's not something we think about much these days. 

Remember that moment when you were little and found a person's wallet. It had a $20 bill in it. You took it to the principal's office. The owner was found and so happy that they gave you $10 back. Then, you both had a great day because of it. Okay, I don't remember that happening to me either. But, I'm sure it has happened to somebody. I know I've done similar things though and they have worked out for the benefit of both people involved.

Well, that's what this ideal marriage is supposed to be like. You find out your spouse has lost his wallet. You first feel like yelling at your spouse for being so irresponsible (I mean the credit cards to your own bank account were in that wallet after all). Then, you remember a time when you left your keys in the car of a busy parking lot. You calm down and don't say anything just then. You look and look and look for the lost wallet, maybe it'll be easy to find. Meanwhile you get ready to cancel the credit cards if you can't find it quickly. Then, you find the wallet in the fridge behind the lettuce. So, do you take advantage and rub it in that your spouse is always losing things and you're always finding them. Or do you take the higher road and hand it to them with a smile. Well, you remember those keys left in the car again, and you smile when you hand it to them. Everybody is happy. The day goes on, you don't have to call the bank. The best part you kept your cool, so there's no hard feelings. 

Imagine if every confrontation was handled with the other person's needs in mind. Marriage could be blissful.

Start small today. When your spouse does the next thing you don't like, or when your about to do something your spouse hates - think twice, save a marriage. Be the companion your spouse want and needs you to be. 

Abuse

Some men who are evidently unable to gain respect by the goodness of their lives use as justification for their actions the statement that Eve was told that Adam should rule over her. How much sadness, how much tragedy, how much heartbreak has been caused through centuries of time by weak men who have used that as a scriptural warrant for atrocious behavior! They do not recognize that the same account indicates that Eve was given as a helpmeet to Adam. The facts are that they stood side by side in the garden. They were expelled from the garden together, and they worked together side by side in gaining their bread by the sweat of their brows. ---

President Gordon B Hinckley 

Johnny Lingo

"The finding of fault with consequent divorce is usually preceded by a long period in which little mistakes are spoken of in harsh and angry language, where tiny molehills of difference grow into great mountains of conflict. I am satisfied that the more unkindly a wife is treated, the less attractive she becomes. She loses pride in herself. She develops a feeling of worthlessness. Of course it shows.

A husband who domineers his wife, who demeans and humiliates her, and who makes officious demands upon her not only injures her, but he also belittles himself. And in many cases, he plants a pattern of future similar behavior in his sons." -  President Gordon B Hinckley

 Watch the movie of Johnny Lingo to see this principle in action on both sides of the coin. Enjoy the old school movie. There's a newer version these days that is also super cute with the same message.

I love Johnny Lingo. You can see what else I wrote about it  here

Never Leave a Man When He's Down

My Mom always says, "Never leave a man when he's down, that's just cruel". If he loses his job or is having a hard time, you can't just walk out. It's just too mean. The reverse applies too.

Living and Loving Each Day

"A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months or years you've been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other every day." - unknown
http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/

We've been together 13 years, 5 months and 8 days, but who's counting. I won't try to pretend that each of those days were filled with love, but I can say that we ended each bad day happily. I can also say that most of those days together have been filled with love and sometimes so much love towards each other that the words "I love you" aren't enough.

A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpufA

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

In Person

If you have a problem to discuss about your relationship or your spouse, don't do it over the phone or internet! People tend to be far less considerate of others' feelings when they're separated by cyberspace, and in-person communication adds vital information channels (body language!) to the discussion.