Having Divorced Parents Makes Kids More Likely to Be Sick

I've heard that when parents are stressed the children are more likely to get sick. That holds true around our house. I've never heard that when parents are divorced children are more likely to get sick. It seems like the same principal though. According to an article on Ars Technica children of divorced parents are 3 times more likely to catch the common cold, then children of parents who aren't divorced. Who wants their kids to be sick more often?
If you're already divorced don't start feeling guilty. There's something you can do for the health of your children. The article, which is linked below, shares two things you can do to lessen the health risks for your child.
One, communicate with your former spouse about needs for the child.
Two, have an amicable divorce. Don't play mean against each other. That's stressful for everyone.

Ars Technica Article on Marriage

Marriage Commitment Levels

The month of July seems to be wedding month. We've been invited to two weddings of neighbors and three family weddings. As we drive in the car to all these weddings, it's been an awesome opportunity to talk to the kids over and over again about the importance of temple weddings. We talk about what actually happens in a temple wedding. You know the couple promises with God to take care of each other and God will help them. Then, we talk about how a couple gets sealed together like a chain with the opportunity to be linked together forever.


That's all we see at first. But, if we look closer we realize that when those two links are chained together they link the parents and grandparents that came before. If you keep looking,  you realize that the future children that aren't even a glimmer in their parents' eyes yet, are linked too. It's a beautiful, eternal view of what marriage should be. I like to think of it as the ideal.
This way is the perfect set up to foster complete: physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, etc, attachment. In this way as you commit completely, you really "cleave unto one another and non else". It's the most fulfilling for all needs when done right. We're big proponents of this type of marriage.

We always spend some time comparing a temple marriage to a marriage outside the temple. Any marriage between a man and woman is a wonderful thing in the eye of God. It's how it should be. We talk about all the benefits of the form of commitment that marriage is.
A married couple(married in the temple or not) is so much more likely to save money for the future, buy property together, set goals to achieve and work towards together then a non-married couple. Of course a married couple is the best way to raise the next generation. We hope by the end of talking about all that, that the kids are getting an idea of the "best" and "better". The main thing missing from a marriage outside the temple is the covenant with God to do our best in our marriage and to be able to stay married together after death and the family links from this.

Since, we know that eventually are kids will realize this is happening, we compare the option of living together as a couple instead of marrying. We always talk about abuse being more likely in this situation. We talk about the opposites of above. We mainly say, if a couple isn't willing to commit formally to each other like in marriage, then it's unlikely they'll commit in a lot of ways. They're less likely to commit financially, emotionally, spiritually, mentally. It seems they're less likely to have children by choice. They're also less likely to both be around to raise the children together if they do have any. Then, here's the part we don't mention if the young kids are in the car. They're putting their physical needs way above the rest of their other needs. Thus, their person becomes out of balance and can't actually be as complete and whole as it could have been, if they had just committed to take care of all each others' needs instead of just trying to take care of one physical need. I don't particularly support living together instead of marrying, can you tell?

Anyway that's the way I see it. Marriage by Leah

George and Martha Washington

One couple who appear to have a marriage that worked was:
George and Martha Washington.
Their marriage was enjoyable to read about and learn from.

I like this part:
"They fell into a pattern of routine with the President holding open receptions to any clean respectable males on Tuesday afternoons. Martha had her own receptions on Fridays open to both men and women. Sundays were family days, first going to church at St. Paul's and various outings with the grandchildren in the afternoons."

One night a week for their receptions seems like a good plan. I don't know if they invited each other to their receptions or not. Either way, having one night a week to do something wholesome the way you like without your companion seems healthy.

I stress one wholesome activity without your spouse a week, because of a story we ran across once.
Ryan and I were shopping at Costco. We were on different aisles and he had a baby in his cart along with the food. Two ladies approached him and started cooing over the baby. One lady said something like, "I bet you take the baby to the bars and pick up on all the women there?" Ryan said "no, I don't". They clarified, "you don't use the baby to pick up on women at the bars?" Ryan restated more clearly, "No, I don't drink, I don't go to bars and I don't use the baby to pick up on women." The one lady looked at the other and said, "See, I told you good men still exist!" Since that conversation, I think it's important to add stress to the wholesome in one wholesome recreational activity a week.
My mother-in-law has spent one night a week going to orchestra rehearsals for decades. She loves it and never wants to miss it. It's good for her. Since, it's good for her, it's good for her husband too. This is a perfect way to have one wholesome recreational activity a week.

Expectations

Expectations Quiz
from the Utah Marriage Handbook

4 True or False Questions:
1. Because we are in love we should never disagree.
2. My spouse should know what I'm thinking and feeling without my having to say it.
3. My spouse will never change (for the better or for the worse).
4. I will always feel those exciting, passionate feelings for my spouse.

Okay did you answer true or false for each one? To check the answers continue reading.

Improvement

When you're trying to become a better person, be wise to know what is within your power to change. Same goes for when you are trying to improve your spouse's character. Baby steps and encouragement are critical parts of change. Two steps forward and one step back is expected.

Remember just like the baby falls when trying to take it's first steps, we will too. We encourage the baby like it is the best thing in the world, because it is. When you're headed in the right direction, falls will happen, just keep trying.

Exercise towards a Stronger Marriage

Why not do something active together for your next date?
We tried this last week and love it. We played some basketball together.
We enjoy from time to time: snowshoeing, sledding, ice skating, basketball, chasing kids, workouts, gardening, dancing, hiking, taking long walks, etc.
There's an article that suggests that exercising together improves your marriage.

Exercise Toward a Stronger Marriage

This article is pretty awesome written by a Canadian Group. It describes the benefits of exercising together as a couple. Four of the big benefits of this are:

Creating Memories Together
Making and Achieving Goals Together
Being Happier Together
Encouraging Each Other

Why not try it? Who doesn't need a little more great memories and happiness?
Do something active together this week.

chicbrownbride.com has cute quotes like this