Improvement

When you're trying to become a better person, be wise to know what is within your power to change. Same goes for when you are trying to improve your spouse's character. Baby steps and encouragement are critical parts of change. Two steps forward and one step back is expected.

Remember just like the baby falls when trying to take it's first steps, we will too. We encourage the baby like it is the best thing in the world, because it is. When you're headed in the right direction, falls will happen, just keep trying.

Exercise towards a Stronger Marriage

Why not do something active together for your next date?
We tried this last week and love it. We played some basketball together.
We enjoy from time to time: snowshoeing, sledding, ice skating, basketball, chasing kids, workouts, gardening, dancing, hiking, taking long walks, etc.
There's an article that suggests that exercising together improves your marriage.

Exercise Toward a Stronger Marriage

This article is pretty awesome written by a Canadian Group. It describes the benefits of exercising together as a couple. Four of the big benefits of this are:

Creating Memories Together
Making and Achieving Goals Together
Being Happier Together
Encouraging Each Other

Why not try it? Who doesn't need a little more great memories and happiness?
Do something active together this week.

chicbrownbride.com has cute quotes like this

Scriptural Passages for Marriage Relationships

Serving your partner with everything you've got is the ideal and worth trying to achieve. If you're not sure how important service can be in your marriage, just ask your partner once a day: What can I do for you today to help you feel loved? They'll probably have an answer.

http://www.themissionofmoms.com/2011/04/encourage-your-missionary-son-or.html?m=1

 

 

#LDSface2face with Elder Holland

At a recent devotional a leader, Elder Holland, suggested taking this scripture passage which is about missionary work and change it to being about marriage. I think it's a good fit. Let's check:


"Therefore, O ye that embark in ...marriage..., see that ye serve...your spouse... with all your heart, might, mind and strength.
And faith, hope, charity and love; qualify him for this...marriage.
Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, diligence.
...When you don't know how to work with your spouse...Pray.
--Doctrine and Covenants Section 4

Well, I'd say it works. Patience and humility are huge factors in a successful marriage. After all we want them to be patient when we aren't at our best. We also hope that they'll be humble when we want them to change something so we should be humble too. Knowledge as a virtue for a good marriage is taking me a minute to put my finger on. It would be helpful for each person to learn new things each day, so that there's something new to talk about together. It's certainly helpful to learn new things to make daily living skills easier(house cleaning, cooking, organizing, child raising etc).  Temperance(I had to look it up), is restraining from alcohol or eating and drinking too much. So, temperance would make you healthier and more attractive. Everybody wants that for their spouse. Diligence just reminds me to keep at it. Doing one day of any of these character traits is nice, but it won't make a huge difference in the end. Working on these character traits consistently will be rewarding for your marriage. Virtue is a must for a marriage to work - what's the point of a marriage without virtue and staying faithful to each other physically?

Do you think it works as a scripture that's helpful for marriage?

Wartime Wedding

My grandparents Max and Marjorie got engaged and married while Max was on leave from the military. They definitely had known each other awhile, dated, met each others' families, etc. Then, the story goes that Max came home and proposed to Marjorie. They tried to figure out all the details quickly before Max had to leave. They weren't sure where to get married, but they decided on the SLC temple. As my grandmother puts it, "temple marriages weren't stressed as so important back then." As they thought about it, they were content with getting married at the temple. So, they got married and had something short like 24 or 36 hours together before Max was deployed again for military service in WWII. They had a happily ever after that lasted for decades while they were both alive. Since, they got married in the temple, it can last for an eternity more.

There's was certainly a military, wartime wedding done very well.

None of us marry perfection, we marry potential II

Meeting the Challenges of Today's Worldby Elder Robert D. Hales

"None of us marry perfection; we marry potential. The right marriage is not only about what I want; it’s also about what she—who’s going to be my companion—wants and needs me to be."

This is love, the real kind of love. Make your partner's needs become your own needs. In the ideal marriage this goes both ways. It's not something we think about much these days. 

Remember that moment when you were little and found a person's wallet. It had a $20 bill in it. You took it to the principal's office. The owner was found and so happy that they gave you $10 back. Then, you both had a great day because of it. Okay, I don't remember that happening to me either. But, I'm sure it has happened to somebody. I know I've done similar things though and they have worked out for the benefit of both people involved.

Well, that's what this ideal marriage is supposed to be like. You find out your spouse has lost his wallet. You first feel like yelling at your spouse for being so irresponsible (I mean the credit cards to your own bank account were in that wallet after all). Then, you remember a time when you left your keys in the car of a busy parking lot. You calm down and don't say anything just then. You look and look and look for the lost wallet, maybe it'll be easy to find. Meanwhile you get ready to cancel the credit cards if you can't find it quickly. Then, you find the wallet in the fridge behind the lettuce. So, do you take advantage and rub it in that your spouse is always losing things and you're always finding them. Or do you take the higher road and hand it to them with a smile. Well, you remember those keys left in the car again, and you smile when you hand it to them. Everybody is happy. The day goes on, you don't have to call the bank. The best part you kept your cool, so there's no hard feelings. 

Imagine if every confrontation was handled with the other person's needs in mind. Marriage could be blissful.

Start small today. When your spouse does the next thing you don't like, or when your about to do something your spouse hates - think twice, save a marriage. Be the companion your spouse want and needs you to be. 

Abuse

Some men who are evidently unable to gain respect by the goodness of their lives use as justification for their actions the statement that Eve was told that Adam should rule over her. How much sadness, how much tragedy, how much heartbreak has been caused through centuries of time by weak men who have used that as a scriptural warrant for atrocious behavior! They do not recognize that the same account indicates that Eve was given as a helpmeet to Adam. The facts are that they stood side by side in the garden. They were expelled from the garden together, and they worked together side by side in gaining their bread by the sweat of their brows. ---

President Gordon B Hinckley