Johnny Lingo

"The finding of fault with consequent divorce is usually preceded by a long period in which little mistakes are spoken of in harsh and angry language, where tiny molehills of difference grow into great mountains of conflict. I am satisfied that the more unkindly a wife is treated, the less attractive she becomes. She loses pride in herself. She develops a feeling of worthlessness. Of course it shows.

A husband who domineers his wife, who demeans and humiliates her, and who makes officious demands upon her not only injures her, but he also belittles himself. And in many cases, he plants a pattern of future similar behavior in his sons." -  President Gordon B Hinckley

 Watch the movie of Johnny Lingo to see this principle in action on both sides of the coin. Enjoy the old school movie. There's a newer version these days that is also super cute with the same message.

I love Johnny Lingo. You can see what else I wrote about it  here

Never Leave a Man When He's Down

My Mom always says, "Never leave a man when he's down, that's just cruel". If he loses his job or is having a hard time, you can't just walk out. It's just too mean. The reverse applies too.

Living and Loving Each Day

"A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months or years you've been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other every day." - unknown
http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/

We've been together 13 years, 5 months and 8 days, but who's counting. I won't try to pretend that each of those days were filled with love, but I can say that we ended each bad day happily. I can also say that most of those days together have been filled with love and sometimes so much love towards each other that the words "I love you" aren't enough.

A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpufA

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

“A happy marriage is not based on the number of days, months, or years you’ve been together. A happy marriage is about how much you love each other everyday.” -Unknown - See more at: http://www.happywivesclub.com/a-happy-marriage-7/#sthash.Wbe8txBK.dpuf

In Person

If you have a problem to discuss about your relationship or your spouse, don't do it over the phone or internet! People tend to be far less considerate of others' feelings when they're separated by cyberspace, and in-person communication adds vital information channels (body language!) to the discussion.

Fighting vs Discussing

Fighting in marriage leads to a couple growing further apart and resisting each other. Fighting does NOT usually resolve the issue at hand. Discussing in marriage, if done sensitively, can bring the couple closer together AND solve the problem they are facing.

For example, Ryan and I used to completely disagree on camping. Whenever we even thought about camping, we'd get upset. We were coming from opposing ideas on every aspect of camping. So, our discussions about camping sometimes turned to fights. The successful conversations about camping included a few key elements.

 First, express love for each other. "You are worth it. I love you. I want to be with you, even if it means camping together".

 Second, discuss the importance of the issue. "Camping could be a really great thing for us and our family. It is worth trying to figure out a compromise, so that we can enjoy this activity together".

Third, several short discussions are key. We had tons of short discussions, where we'd just cover one aspect of camping. We'd reach a conclusion or not and end before we got upset. "My favorite part of camping is using a campfire". "I want to spend lots of time around the campfire too." "Great we'll buy wood next trip". "Let's start thinking of food to cook over the campfire". That's it, short and sweet. Another discussion can add more details. If you've spent a little while on a conversation and didn't get anywhere, don't worry just say, "let's talk about this later. Not never, just later". Schedule the conversation if you need to.

Marriages of the Leaders of the LDS Church

Marriages of LDS Church Leaders
Here's some fun little stories about church leaders falling in love and meeting their spouses.

“I saw her first in Primary,” President Hinckley says with a laugh. “She gave a reading. I don’t know what it did to me, but I never forgot it. Then she grew older into a beautiful young woman, and I had the good sense to marry her.”

After that sunrise service, he saw a young woman coming out of a grove of trees. Not only was he struck by her beauty, but at that moment the words of President David O. McKay came to his mind: “If you meet a girl in whose presence you feel a desire … to do your best, … such a young woman is worthy of your love” (Gospel Ideals, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953, p. 459). “That was exactly how I felt as I saw Kathleen for the first time,” says Elder Eyring.

While trying to win over Harriet’s heart, Dieter F. Uchtdorf would frequently ride his bike to her house, hoping to give her a ride to a church function. She was usually unavailable, but Harriet’s mother would take the ride instead. “Actually, looking back,” he says, “I recognize that it doesn’t hurt at all to be on good terms with the mother of the girl of your dreams.”

Do Moms get a Day of Rest?

Sabbath for Mom - article link

The article in the link above is awesome. You've gotta read it. It encourages the dads to help more on Sunday. If you're a mom going through the first years of parenting, church and Sunday are as exhausting as any other day. It's just how it is. Hopefully the husband and wife can work out a routine that makes things smoother, but it'll require work from both parents. For, example, I can't even remember the last Mother's Day(Sunday) when I didn't have to change a baby's diaper. It's just how it is. There's a lot to be done.

That being said, Keeping the Sabbath Day Holy has been my favorite commandment for probably 13 years. When Ryan was going through school, it was easy for him to put in 60 to 80 hour work weeks (including studying and working). He was able to do all that in 6 days a week. The 7th day became the family day. On Sundays he would take the kids out during sacrament meeting when they screamed. That doesn't necessarily mean I heard much of sacrament meeting, because with multiple kids somebody always needs help. The gesture was needed and kind though. On Sundays he'd also take our baby to Elder's Quorum (the men's meeting). That left me free to teach primary.

He'd often cook dinner or lunch after church like I mentioned here.The times he had to stay after church for a calling, we often decided to stay too. I wasn't excited to go home and take care of the kids there by myself like any other day. So, I'd let the kids play in the nursery after church while we waited for him. I didn't get the day off, but it helped relax the heavy load that little kids bring for a mom.  Sunday was definitely a break from the routine.

If you do have a heavy load on Sundays because of  young children, just remember they grow up. Just for reference, I probably take my two year old out of sacrament meeting and into the hall about once or twice per meeting. The 5 year old only has to go out about once per year. The 8, 10 and 12 year olds sit through the meeting and even learn things.